Kiwi to English Dictionary

Once upon a time there was a blogger called Morphess who curated this rather brilliant collection of Kiwi language idiosyncrasies. She quit blogging years ago, the blog languished in the vapour of the interweb and also in my archives as I was the technologist who looked after the site and kept it online for a while there.  She quit out of the blue, things went a bit tits up, I think, but her archives are still here (Caro, if you want them back, all you gotta do is email me)...

As a dedicated Kiwi myself I have decided that this list is far too good to be kept off the internet and as a consequence I'm posting it here.

Caroline, we miss your blogging, and if by some strange quirk you're reading this and want me to take it down get in touch!!

Kiwinese.     English.

Sport.
Football     Rugby.
Soccer     Football.
Sport     Sacrosanct.
Half back     scrum half
First five-eighth     fly half
Sprigs     studs
Fat mans track     notional path up the centre of rugby pitch
Gumby    complete lack of coordination.

Miscellaneous.
Rumpus room    playroom
Wagging    missing school or work
Joker     bloke
Piker    someone who throws in the towel
Pit shop     Pet shop
Fairy     ferry
She's a hard road    difficult
Judder bar    speed bump
Bach     holiday home, pronounced batch
Crib     holiday home in Southland and Otago
Sicktion     plot of land
Coaster     person from the West Coast of the South Island
Westie     person from West Auckland, associated with having a mullet.
A shocker    mildly disappointing
Woop woops    out in the sticks
Waikikamookau     fictional town way, way out in the Wop Wops.
Toyota     bugger. Long story to do with television advert.
Airgun?     How are you going? Greeting
Cocky    Farmer
Cow cocky     Dairy Farmer
Manchester     Linen.
Box of birds    O.K.
Box of fluffies    O.K.
Choice     O.K.
Sweet as    O.K.
Good as gold     O.K.
Stink     not O.K.
Onya     good for you!
Bro'     I've forgotten your name
Pun     Pin
Pin     Pen
Dairy     Corner Shop
Metal     Gravel
Yeah, yeah     Possibly
Paddock     Field
Dam     Pond
Number Eight Wire     Used for everything
Awesome     Average
Beer     bear (teddy)
O.E.     Get drunk in London pub with your Kiwi mates.
Glad wrap     cling film
Joker     man, not necessarily a funny one
Queer cattle     strange folk
JAFA     Just Another F*%&ing Aucklander.
Bush    Forest
Tramp    Walk
Rattle Ya Dags    Hurry Up
Hard Yakka    Hard Work
Turn To Custard     Go pear shaped
Grouse!     very cool indeed
Great Big Dick     Large Verandah
Sook     cry baby
She'll be right.     I've just cut off my arm with a chain saw.

Apparel.
Togs     bathers
Skivvy     roll neck shirt
Swanndri     big coat/dress like thing. Much favoured for hunting and killing things in.
Gumboots     Wellies
Jandals     Flip Flops
Pants     Trousers

Food & Drink.
Trum mook    low fat milk
Hokey Pokey Ice cream    disgusting/delicious (depending on your tastes) vanilla ice cream with bits of Crunchie.
Bring a plate    ....with some food on it.
Chilly Bin     Cooler
Smoko     Tea break. And it's illegal to smoke.
Supper     Late night snack
Lollies     Sweets
Chips     Crisps
Hot Chips     Chips
Pattie     Burger
Our Mate     marmite
Rice Bubbles     Rice Crispies
Weetbix     WeetAbix
Smokers     tiny, pink aniseed-flavoured sweets.
Colonial goose     stuffed leg of mutton.
Lemmincktons    lamingtons (vile cake)
Flet White     Cup of Coffee
Ice block     frozen juice on stick.
Do You Want A Wine?     Alcoholic beverage, not an excuse to talk about your mother.

Things not to say at a dinner party.
I met a really nice Australian the other day.
So, the English won the rugby.
Paul Holmes seems like a nice bloke.
I live in Auckland.
Did you see the cricket?
I'm so glad Michael Barrymore lives here now.
What's all this about the foreshore?

With thanks to Jessie, Mike, Lil, Martin, Llew, Martha, Clods, Deirdre, Jono, Antipo, Flying Kiwi, HotnSpicy Kiwi, Duh-Mension, Fi and Deeleea.