December 2009 Archives

I've filched this quote from Don Miller's Blog

In a culture where professional ministers are tempted to use people to build churches, David Gentiles used the church to get to people.

Don's context is an obituary for a man who loved and was dearly loved and I don't want to take anything away from that. David Gentiles sounds like the kind of pastor (and man, for that matter) we all wish we knew.  But in the middle of the celebration David's life and of Don's memories of him, this quote spoke volumes to me because it's what I've been saying all year. In a way, while 2009 was primarily all my Masters' Degree the thing that has had the biggest impact on me personally is all about church. In short, 2009 was the year my thoughts about church underwent fundamental change.

For the last 10 years I've loved a church whose focus is 'Build the Church' but the biggest paradigm shift that happened for me (and not coincidentally that got sparked by Don's book 'Blue Like Jazz'), and the primary reason I now worship somewhere else is because I have been unable to shake the conviction that if we  'Build the People' the church will come rather than the other way around.

If our primary focus is on building the church, on having more numbers, on having more souls saved, the very people we hope to touch become secondary to the institution and we lose sight of the incredible value each member has NOT because they are a member and because they contribute, but because the are valuable to their Maker and by extension should be valuable to us all. 

If we love, people love in return, if the place where they find love and acceptance is the church then they will love the church, if they love the church they will serve. On the contrary if the church expects service, if the love we offer is conditional on what our people do for the church (or how they look, or how old they are, or how clever.... etc. etc. etc.) rather than being unconditional and offered on the basis of  their value to God, then it's only a question of time before something gives.     

I read Don's obituary for David and I'm challenged to be the kind of person that David Gentiles was, and I'd never even heard of him before today.  I'm challenged to live in such a way that the people with whom I come into contact leave me feeling as though they've been loved, and I'm challenged to be a part of a church that puts people ahead of programs.

You know, the way Jesus did.

2009  was the year I started to see things differently, and it broke my heart in ways I never anticipated. My heart breaks still for those who've felt the sting of being discarded because they no longer are considered to fit in the church they were so committed to building. It breaks for those who've built themselves out of a position, those who have aged out of one. My heart breaks for those whose memories of their pastor are vastly different than Don's of David, and it breaks too for those pastors who've become so caught up in the vision they've lost sight of not only the people who are helping bring it to pass but also lost Jesus' view of their sheep, their people. 

On the eve of a new year and a of new decade, I still pray "may your kingdom come, may your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven..." but I can't help suspecting that the kingdom we're waiting for probably looks a lot less like our image/skill/talent focused world and that the churches therein look a lot less like our concert halls and stadiums and a lot more like our living rooms and cafes, like darkened doorways, like city parks and shopping malls.

You know, like Jesus saw them.

So, if you're a Kiwi of my vintage you may understand the reference above.  Once upon a time there was an ad on the telly for the 'Smokefree Rally of NZ' and two possums in the middle of the road see a car coming... with the anticipated results.  Those who follow me on twitter may guess the reference I'm making to it today,..

If you're anything like me, as the year winds down you spend the occasional moment looking back over the preceding months and reflect on what's been going on.

I have a lot to reflect on.

I don't think I could have predicted that at this point, one year since I upped stakes and left a reasonably secure job that I'd be able to say I've completed my Masters in less than a year, AND with a Distinction average (with 1.675 marks to spare!)

I didn't imagine that I'd have supported myself by my own efforts and some canny contracting and today paid off a credit card (taking my total cards down to one. Phew - getting out of debt in the GFC. Yay me.)

I didn't imagine for a second that I'd have spent one day a week as a nanny and LOVED it. It felt a little like a necessary evil in those first few weeks when I was terrified I'd end up destitute or when Missy spent that first hour of every day I was there SCREAMING. Happily, it has turned into the highlight of the week for me and will do so long into the New Year. Nannying 2009 culminated in a marriage proposal, and not my first from a member of the younger set.  I'm a huge hit with the under sixes - sigh, if I could just up the average age by about 30 years...

I never thought I'd find so little to blog about in a whole year.  I've been so remiss but I suspect that most of my writing energy was being expended on writing essays - and let's face it, you're likely to be not particularly interested in the kind of stuff I was turning out... maybe 2010 will be better for blogging.  I certainly need to do some design tweaking... this notebook look is so old skool.

I never thought I'd be able to successfully pull apart my Mac and put it back together (and have it work) without major incident.

I never thought I'd be in NZ twice in the year I was a student, nor that I'd be going also to Tasmania for a holiday in January but I did and I am, and I'm so grateful to be able to get to see the family and friends on the other ends of those plane rides.

I never thought at age 41 I'd have to prevail on other people's generosity when my circumstances looked impossible and when I didn't know where the next dollar was coming from.  At the same time I could not be more thankful that I have such close and generous friends who bought me groceries, meat parcels and coffee and who took me out for steak and tequila once in a blue moon.  Or, even better, gave me work so I could buy coffee for other people on occasion.

I never thought I'd be inquiring as to the possibility of further study next year, a research project that will upgrade my degree to Honours.  It's a nagging thought I can't shake... I must be insane, particularly given how excited I am by the thought of surveying Christian churches about their use of digital technologies...

Yep.

Insane.

I never thought that I'd be so happy to go to church on a Sunday nor that to get so happy I'd have to leave one church and take up with another.  This is such a bittersweet change and one that I never expected to occur, I still find it a bit bizarre.  I only know that given the paradigm shifts my faith and feelings have gone through this year and as hard as it is that there are people I see a lot less of now, it's still the right thing to have done.

Above all, I never thought that my life could be so rich with friends, relations, experiences, love and life, both IRL and here online.  To all of you, whether I know you in person or 'virtually'. Thank you for making this year an awesome one!  I hope yours has been as much an adventure for you.

Merry Christmas.

I am so remiss that I never told you about this... I was waiting until Dec 1st to unveil it, I did so on twitter and if you follow me there you'll have seen the odd tweet about it... but, finally, here's the link to my finished Flash project for 2009... Christmas Countdown, as designed by Lorraine Birmingham, but animated by me...

http://deeleea.com/blog/flashdemo/index.html Go on... click, you'll like it.

Watch this space for a more personal Merry Christmas Greeting being created as we speak...